February 1st, 2015
Six. That is the amount of times that I wanted to eat some type of sweet since two in the afternoon until 10:15 p.m. I know you may think it’s not a lot because we all have those days. But is it really not a lot when this constant thought invades your mind almost every hour? Is it really O.K., when until last night you would respond to every single one of those internal and impulsive sweet calls? Yeah, probably not. Until yesterday, I can assure you, I would be capable of finishing almost three-quarters of an entire bag of the “fun size” Crunch mini-bars. I am really not fat, but I this lack of control is starting to make changes in my body, mind, and health.
Basically, if my body felt like it, I would immediately go get some type of sweet from wherever. Of course, if nothing was at hand and I really had no way of getting to my sweet goal, then I would do nothing about the situation. My behavior is interesting. You would actually believe I am a chocolate addict, but when I do not have the means of acquiring that piece of chocolate, I am fine. I do not feel anxious, nervous, or irritated. I simply try to occupy my mind on something else. I often wonder…“why can’t I do that even when that package of chocolate is there?” And the answer is simple: the package of chocolate is there. It’s in my zone, it’s my weakness, and since it’s at hand, I simply take it. Neuroscientists affirm that the parietal lobe, in charge of impulse-control, is not developed until approximately the age of thirty. And if that is true, then although I am starting to get close to this age and I have learned to control myself about many things in life, I have not managed to defeat that last obstacle. Basically, when destiny manages to take away from me all the possible ways of obtaining that chocolate, it becomes a way of training me in the control of that weakness. The problem, of course, is that the training is not long enough to make me stronger, to teach me, and to remain firm in my decision of knowing it is not the time to grab a piece of candy.
So, since destiny’s training in chocolate-control is not effective enough, I made my own. As I previously mentioned, I am writing down in a small notebook every time I want to eat something sweet. First, I write down the exact time and next to it, the type of sweet I thought of, I craved for, or the one I almost grabbed. It’s been a few hours since I started this, so do not quote me yet on the training’s success, but after eating an uncontrollable amount of sweets since the new college semester started (3 weeks up to now), this simply exercise has saved my life six times just today. It may sound too dramatic, or maybe too insignificant, but when you cannot live without something, or even someone, you know saying “no” even once is the start to a hopefully great future.
I am not planning on keeping you any longer, as my goal is only to share with you the relevant “sweet” moments of my day, but most importantly, to help you by helping me. I am not sure how many people will one day read about my journey into health, as well as mental and spiritual well-being. But one thing is true: as long as I live there is hope to change, but first, I need to change to change you.
bittersweet2day 